I like how you present the situation as a series of choices. It reflects the things we've been discussing in class. I think your story is going to be very interesting!
Ann: This is a great project. First off, as the other blog commenter noted, the choices and decisions are excellent - there are several ways through the text. I wonder if you can convey that on the map? I guess I mean adding lines to show what happens if you choose one thing over another? The pressure post is a little odd - it seems to be more general? I'm not sure why it's called pressure? But this may be an order problem - i.e. there's different ways through this and not all of them make the same kind of sense. You could reorder the posts to force a clearly organization, but I think it's fine. The heelside and toeside and face of the mountain texts are much more dramatic and immediate. It seems to me they should come first or something like that should come first to really grab the reader and get us into the text. Perhaps make the link to the story from your "little wonders" blog go straight to one of those postings rather than to the top of the "choose your edge" blog (i.e. to boarding?) Or have a link in boarding leading us to one of those more immediate and dramatic texts? I do think that the writing itself is great so far... you do need to add pictures!
2 comments:
I like how you present the situation as a series of choices. It reflects the things we've been discussing in class. I think your story is going to be very interesting!
Good luck!
Ann: This is a great project. First off, as the other blog commenter noted, the choices and decisions are excellent - there are several ways through the text. I wonder if you can convey that on the map? I guess I mean adding lines to show what happens if you choose one thing over another? The pressure post is a little odd - it seems to be more general? I'm not sure why it's called pressure? But this may be an order problem - i.e. there's different ways through this and not all of them make the same kind of sense. You could reorder the posts to force a clearly organization, but I think it's fine. The heelside and toeside and face of the mountain texts are much more dramatic and immediate. It seems to me they should come first or something like that should come first to really grab the reader and get us into the text. Perhaps make the link to the story from your "little wonders" blog go straight to one of those postings rather than to the top of the "choose your edge" blog (i.e. to boarding?) Or have a link in boarding leading us to one of those more immediate and dramatic texts? I do think that the writing itself is great so far... you do need to add pictures!
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